29 November 2010

A Christmas Tree... in November

A few days ago, I put my Christmas tree up. Yes, early. I've been informed that it's bad luck to do that before December. But I figured hey, if all the stores can do it, and Ballantynes even dare to do their huge, nightmare-invoking creepy moving, talking window display shenanigans, then why not me too?

Well, it turns out I shouldn't have been so hasty to scoff at the superstitious weirdoes. Either it is bad luck, or I've somehow managed to spill a ton of salt on a mountain of broken mirrors and haven't noticed. ('cause I totally believe in that too). I'm having one of those weeks where you just know getting out of bed is a terrible idea.

Here's a random poem to illustrate the excrementality of my mood. I was trying to write a happy thing to make myself feel better.

The coffee in the bottom of the pot is too strong
Oily; and through its film
She imagines she can taste
The fulcrum on which everything rests.
Bagpipes are playing across the square.
It’s that tune that bagpipes always play
The one that everyone knows
But no one can name.
Happiness fail. But before I depress you to death, or worse, alienate every one of my reader (not a typo, unfortunately), I guess I'd better provide some funnies. 

Roll the NZDating hilarity!
HIM: Howz it going cutie
HIM: What you upto tonyte
ME: Polishing my special text-speaking-people assassination knife.
HIM: True so do you like what you see at all Cauz you look pretty dam hot
ME: Yeah, the blade's all shiny and stabby and beautiful and oh, so ready to go.
HIM: Btw you pretty dam hot and cute
HIM: Let me know when you wana talk about yourself other then the "KNIFE" lol xoxo
HIM: Hay cutie what you doing
ME: Sitting at my computer fervently hoping you will just shut up and go away. :(

HIM: Does it matter that I look like Quasi?
ME: Yes.

HIM: hello anne,havu had n ntrestng dae? or same shit dffrnt dae lol.luv ur complection
ME: jklsdj jioennu u839whuies dhguysghj. llpio! sdhfieh :)
HIM: holefeelucknnell wtf?
ME: Oh sorry, I thought I was speaking your language.


  1. AWWWWWWW! Poor diddums

  2. I think it is "Scotland the Brave" you are looking for. And you should toss some of that spilt salt over your left shoulder for good luck.