Pinny Nation!

Last weekend I did something I hadn't done in a long, long time... I took a holiday.

A real life girls' weekend, like normal people take! We drove to Geraldine (huge thanks to Emma for letting us invade her family holiday place!) and got stuck straight into the wine.

There was a catch, however... this was not just any girls' weekend - this was the Pinny Nation girls' weekend. That's right. I sewed.

Those of you who know me will be gasping with shock and horror right now. The most domestic thing I do is occasionally swipe at the bathroom sink when the toothpaste ickies get too thick. I can't cut in a straight line (I even failed at colouring-in when I was five). And if you've ever thrown me something breakable, you'll know that I have no hand-eye co-ordination whatsoever.

Still, this was a rite of passage... it had to be done.

Sure, it took many hours of swearing like a sailor, many more G&T's, and my fingertips resembled colanders filled with tomato, but in the end, I had a pinny!

The pinny of amazingness

Try not to look too closely - the pockets have holes in them, and I kept cutting the blue ribbon tape too short so there are bits kind of tacked on here and there to fill the gaps. Shut up. It's a pinny. And I made it.

With that done, we wore our pinnies around town and then got more drunk and ate lots. It rained and the yard flooded so we drank more.

The outdoor bath doubles as a rowboat when required

A 'Pinny Nation' flag was made but the sequins fell off so to fix it there was more wine. And we did facials too. Don't smoke with a tinfoil mask on your face. Don't ask why - just don't. Trust me.

I liked the paraffin bath that made my hands look like they were dead. It was satisfyingly creepy.

Braaaaaiiiiiins!

In honour of Pinny Nation, and my newfound seamstress goddess status, I give you a sewing-themed NZDating conversation (as always, completely real).

28 year old Male from West Coast seeking Relationships

HIM: hey there hows it gong? just wondering have ya got webcam?

ME: Hi there! Yes, I do. Do you have an 1889 vintage Singer sewing machine with treadle?

HIM: yeah i do u should add me on msn if your up for some fun or like to watch

ME: You'd let me watch you sew? On camera?

HIM: yep if your keen add me st*********22@windowslive.com im keen as hun

ME: It depends. What are you going to be sewing?

HIM: my cock hun
r u going to add me hun

ME: Interesting... so what'll it be? A wee foreskin dress so you can put makeup on it and pretend it's a little girl puppet?

HIM: yeah honey thats the one

ME: What colour thread are you using? This is important.

HIM: white i think

ME: Oh, no. Sorry, I'll give it a miss.