29 July 2010

The Kitty and the Pitbull

So it's like Beauty and the Beast, but far more gut-wrenchingly romantic. Here, I bare my broken soul for you to bring you the story of the tumultuous, tempestuous ten-minute online love affair I had, and lost, tonight.

Please shed a tear for me that it was over so soon.

20 year old Male from Timaru & Oamaru seeking Relationships
HIM: Hey there sexy. Keen on a toy boy?

ME: I really like toys. Once I had this big box of Toro, which is like Lego but cheaper and crapper. I made a prison and had little toy cars be the prisoners and Barbie was God and it was oh so much fun.

HIM: We should get togetha so you can lock me up n b my sex goddess

ME: I had some fluffy handcuffs but unfortunately they were from the $2 shop and they weren't very good and they kind of broke. Then I used them as cat toys and my kitty just loves them! Do you have a kitty?

HIM: No I got a pitbull lol. Me n him are a bit alike. I get a lil savage and I looove to lick lol

ME: What do you like licking most? I like the paddle pops with the strip of chocolate through the middle, they're divine. x

HIM: I know id like to lick u .x. Perhaps we could play a game with some had cream sometime. Or some chocolate n a few ice cubes.

ME: Ice, ice baby... do you ever sing that song while you're in the shower, and do the moves that go along with it? I know I do.

HIM: Lol no I dont. Id love for you to show me

ME: My friend Robert Van Winkle can show you if you like; he gives private lessons to supplement the dole. Shall I sign you up?

HIM: Id rather you showed me lol

ME: Well, alright then. This is me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I2nX41KvnNY

He didn't reply anymore after that. I think he was probably overwhelmed with the intensity of our love and just couldn't handle the rush of feelings anymore. I cried, but I understood.

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