16 January 2011


So styley. Viva Madonna!
Yesterday I was kidnapped, and it was amazing.

It all started with a note left on my desk during the week. "Your fairy-godmothers," it read, "require you to be ready, looking pretty, this Saturday at 9.30am on your doorstep. Your chariot will be waiting. Let the kidnapping fun begin."

I know it's not usual for kidnappers to warn their victims in advance, but I was glad they did. For a kidnapping to be successful, one should be looking their best. No one will pay the ransom for a girl in a sloppy sleeping t-shirt and no pants whose hair looks like a mushroom top.

So at 9.30am on Saturday, I was indeed properly  prepared and well-coiffed, with clothes on, and not a hint of sleep-goobies in my eyes. The chariot (my friend Emma's giant car) was indeed waiting for me. Rather than throw me in the boot with a sack over my head, I was given a plastic jewelled crown to wear, and told I was a princess for the day.

She whisked me off to a place chosen by another fairy godmother, to see a third fairy godmother. The place was a beauty salon, and I was in for a treat.

What had been arranged for me was a full-body relaxation massage, head massage and foot soak. I climbed into the most giant fluffy white robe I had ever seen, plonked my feet into some milky water with stones in the bottom, and submitted to the head massage. Bliss! There's very little I love more than head massages and having my hair played with. I was feeling like a princess indeed.

Then I had the body massage. And oh, I tell you, it was a life-changing experience. Soft relaxation music played in the dim room, while expert hands made every inch of me relaxed and blissfully content. For the first time in weeks, my mind let go of all its angst and stress and just was.

(If you want your life changed, go and see Rosie at Allure Beauty on Riccarton Rd, opposite Westfield. She's a miracle.)

Suitably relaxed, I left with my fairy godmother again and she took me to Drexels for lunch. Their Eggs Benedict is one of my favourite things in all the world. These fairy godmothers know me too well!

After that, we moved on to Tower Junction to browse for some other favourite things - shoes and clothes. The shoe store shocked me, however - it seems someone is still tirelessly trying to bring back the 80's. I tried on a beautiful pair of neon orange heels. Unfortunately I don't think they'd go with my neon green lycra bike shorts, so I reluctantly left them there. Next time, perhaps. After I've purchased a neon pink baseball cap with a neck flap and some slouch socks.

All in all, I've decided being kidnapped is rather fun. I don't know what all those kids in Mexico are complaining about!


  1. 'Twas a legionnaire's cap, you used to like slouch socks, and the bike shorts were pink. BTW, you loved those shorts.

  2. And I loved those orange shoes too!