May the fleas of a thousand camels...

I don't know who I have pissed off, but I seem to have been cursed with the fleas of a thousand camels. Both my cat and my house have been treated twice, but when I sat down on my couch today for my weekly dose of porn Spartacus, I looked down and my fluffy slippers were covered with them. And I had checked before I sat down! They're not normal fleas. They're ninja fleas.

Perhaps it's some kind of judgement for lounging around in my trackies and slippers at three in the afternoon.

My legs are covered with so many ninja-flea bites, I look like I have leprosy. It's quite a hot look for me. I wonder if I can find someone with a leprosy fetish. If there's one out there, they're probably on NZDating.

Speaking of which - it's been a while since I've posted any conversations! So, without further ado...

30 year old Male from Canterbury seeking Relationships

HIM: ur hot ild love to fuck u
HIM: hi hows ya night going
ME: ...You didn't read my profile at all, did you?
HIM: yeah i did and i like what ur into im like u i mean i have de same interests
ME: Are you doing that on purpose to be ironic?
HIM: i dont know what u mean I just would like to get to know u i think ur a cool chick
ME: Yeah, I can see you hate text language just as much as I do.

39 year old Male from Canterbury seeking Relationships

HIM: Would love to fucky sucky your wham bam hole you are hot,
ME: Ooh, the rhyme game, yay!
You'd be lucky ducky, so scram sam; you are not.
HIM: Dobnt care too drunky eunky but you sare hot weould still,three way you and licl the cum from you your just hot what ever you say and you know it
ME: You're doing it wrong.

26 year old Male from Canterbury seeking Friendships

HIM: Heya hun hows things with you
ME: Hi Babe! I can call you babe, right? After all, we're such old friends that such familiarity is only natural...
HIM: Haha for sure huni, you remember me after so long lol sorry.
**3 hours later**
HIM: Hello you
ME: Still trying?
HIM: Haha yea god loves a trier 

39 year old Male from Canterbury seeking Friendships

HIM: Hello anne,how are we today ?
ME: 'We' are royally good.
HIM: Well then thats all gd ah lol
ME: And if I'd said 'we' were royally terrible...?
HIM: Would have said oh FUCK
ME: Well that would have been odd. I'm very glad I said 'royally good' instead.
HIM: Yea so am i,so wot you been up to?
ME: Oh, you know, just playing with idiots.
HIM: I reckon there b a few ah,glad nt one of them ah luv
ME: Oh, I'm sure you are very glad.